there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
