I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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