ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
