yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
