i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
