I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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