yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
