Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
