I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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