We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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