Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
