you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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