She said her name was "party"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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