Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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