Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
