Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize