dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
