Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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