She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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