I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you win again, gameday.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Drake has all the answers
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
