Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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