I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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