you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
