Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
