Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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