chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
