Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
