Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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