either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
last night I used snow as a chaser
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
