Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
