I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
