he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
