I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I would fuck him just for his dog
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
