My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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