So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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