Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize