this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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