no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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