I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
