just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
