Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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