It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
