Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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