Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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