ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just want nice things and good sex
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
