Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
True strength comes from lack of pants
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
