I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
