It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
