Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
