Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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