i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
