I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
