Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
