Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
