Do vagina's smell?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
