he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
