Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
