She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
