Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
