You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
