i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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