3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
