and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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