Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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