So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
