I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
