also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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